Why Silence, Tolerance, and “Just Going Along With It” Are Costing Us More Than We Think
Two weeks ago, our Prime Minister, Mark Carney, gave a speech in Davos that struck a chord with me. If you missed it, you can watch his whole speech here. What stuck with me the most was his reference to it being time to take the sign out of the window.
This resonated with me deeply because it is time to take the sign out of the window.
The sign that says things are fine when they aren’t.
The sign that signals stability while rot grows underneath.
The sign we’ve learned to keep up because it’s easier than naming what’s actually happening.
And while his words were spoken in a broader political and economic context, what struck me the most was this:
These patterns aren’t just happening on the world stage.
They’re happening in our workplaces.
In our organizations.
In our communities.
In our own backyards.
What I’ve Been Observing
I have met, talked and listened to countless people who are resigned, fed up and disappointed with the leadership teams running the organizations they either currently work for or once worked for. People who are sick – mentally, emotionally and physically – due to the environment of their toxic workplaces.
These are people who care deeply.
People who do great work.
People who once believed in the vision and mission.
And now?
They’re burned out.
They’re silenced.
They’re afraid to speak up.
They feel like their voice doesn’t matter.
Not because their weak.
But because they’ve learned, over time, that telling the truth comes at a cost.
Often that cost was their job, their mental health or both.
So the sign stays in the window.
“Everything’s fine.”
“This is just how it is.”
“It’s not worth rocking the boat.”
I invite you to look, where have you been encouraged (either directly or indirectly) to stay quiet in order to keep the peace or stay safe?
The Leadership Patterns We’re Not Naming
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about one industry, one level of government, or one country.
These are patterns of leadership behaviour that show up everywhere when power goes unchecked for too long.
Patterns like:
- Leaders who stay at the top for years and surround themselves with “yes-people”
- Echo chambers where dissenting voices are quietly removed
- Cultures where values are posted on walls but not lived in practice
- People being pushed out, paid off, or silenced with NDAs
- “Playing the game” being rewarded more than integrity or competence
And everyone knows it’s happening.
That’s the part we don’t talk about enough.
If you were being brutally honest, what behaviours are being rewarded where you work?
The Cost of Tolerance
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
These cultures don’t survive because of bad leaders alone.
They survive because of collective tolerance.
Because people learn to:
- Keep their heads down
- Do their job and go home
- Tell themselves, “At least it’s not as bad as…”
And slowly, almost imperceptibly, the bar lowers.
Not all at once.
But enough that people stop expecting better.
I’ve seen how this erodes confidence, health, creativity, and trust.
I’ve heard how people begin to doubt themselves instead of questioning the system.
I’ve watched capable, thoughtful people shrink to survive.
And if you feel like your workplace is something to survive, it’s time to reassess if being there is the place for you.
Just look, what have you normalized that once felt unacceptable?
This Isn’t About Blame. It’s About Responsibility.
I want to be very clear: this isn’t about attacking individuals.
It’s about recognizing patterns and deciding whether we’re willing to keep participating in them.
Because here’s the thing:
If we want things to be different, we have to be different.
Different in what we tolerate.
Different in what we excuse.
Different in what we’re willing to name out loud.
And yes, that’s terrifying.
Especially when your livelihood feels tied to staying quiet.
But what side do you want to be on?
The one that contributes to the problem – or the one that creates meaningful change?
What feels most at risk for you if you were to speak honestly?
One Person is Enough to Start a Crack
One of the most dangerous myths we’ve been sold is that change requires permission, position or power.
It doesn’t.
It requires someone willing to stop pretending.
Someone willing to ask a hard question.
Someone willing to say, “This isn’t aligned with what we say we stand for.”
Someone willing to take the sign out of the window, even if their hands shake while doing it.
History doesn’t change because everyone stands up at once.
It changes because one person does and others realize they’re not alone.
A Word to Leadership
If you’re in a leadership role and reading this, consider this an invitation – not an attack.
Cultures don’t become toxic overnight.
They decay slowly when feedback is avoided, discomfort is bypassed, and power goes unexamined.
The strongest leaders I know:
- Invite dissent
- Listen without retaliation
- Surround themselves with people who challenge them
- Are willing to step aside when their presence becomes a barrier
Anything less isn’t leadership. It’s control.
So as a leader ask yourself, who are you actually listening to and who has gone quiet around you?
Taking the Sign Out Is a Choice
We all have a choice.
To keep tolerating what makes us sick.
To keep telling ourselves that “it’s not that bad.”
To keep surviving instead of leading.
Or to choose something new.
That doesn’t mean blowing everything up (as tempting as that might be at times).
It means reclaiming your agency.
It means remembering that your voice matters.
It means understanding that leadership isn’t a title, it’s a practice.
And it starts much closer to home than we like to admit.
If This Resonates
If this stirred something in you, don’t scroll past it.
Share it.
Talk about it.
Sit with the questions that were asked.
Change doesn’t require everyone.
It requires someone.
And maybe, just maybe, that someone is you.
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