The Mirror of Life
So often, we move through life reacting to what’s around us.
We judge people by how they dress, how they talk, how they show up. We blame circumstances for why things don’t change. We look at the world around us and assume that’s just how it is.
But here’s the truth: the world is a mirror.
If all you see is negativity, you’ll find more of it. If you want to experience beauty, you have to start noticing the beauty in yourself first. Your outer world reflects your inner world — always.
That’s why growth in business, leadership, relationships, and even daily life isn’t separate from your personal growth. It’s cause and effect. If you want more out there, you’ve got to begin in here.
When Inner Work Wasn’t My Priority
For years, I didn’t realize how my inner world was shaping my outer world.
When my children were small, I had four under the age of four, everything revolved around them. Diapers, bottles, brushing teeth, reading stories, keeping the house somewhat in order. All of that was normal. But somewhere along the way, I stopped tending to myself.
I skipped showers. I stopped brushing my teeth. I skipped my own meals while ensuring my kids could eat. I didn’t make my bed. I let myself slide into a way of being that was dictated by a story of: I don’t matter.
At the time, I didn’t see it that way. I thought I was being a selfless mom. But looking back, it’s no surprise I spiraled into depression and, eventually, postpartum psychosis. I had collapsed I don’t matter with nothing matters. And when nothing matters, it’s impossible to thrive.
It took being hospitalized for me to realize: if I didn’t start being good to myself, I couldn’t be a good mom. My kids were learning from me what “normal” looked like and I didn’t want their baseline to be self-neglect.
Training Myself in a New Story
The turning point came during a leadership program, where I uncovered the story I’d been living inside of: I don’t matter.
At first, it felt impossible to undo. But I committed to training myself in a new story: Everything matters.
It didn’t look glamorous. It looked like making my bed every day, even when it felt pointless. Leaving bathrooms cleaner than when I entered them. Following through with small actions, even when my mood told me otherwise.
At first, I thought it was silly. What difference could it make? But over time, these small choices began to shift everything.
“I don’t feel like it” stopped being a reason not to act. I started noticing: yes, that thought was there, but so was a bigger truth and it matters that I do it.
Over time, “it matters” transformed into I matter.
That shift changed everything:
- My productivity increased.
- My mood lifted.
- My body felt healthier and more alive.
- My experience of myself shifted from lazy, worthless, and broken… to strong, powerful, and capable.
And as my inner world changed, my outer world followed.
Breaking the Pattern
Here’s the key: without pausing to look inward, we stay trapped in old patterns.
We repeat the same dynamics in relationships, the same struggles in business, the same cycles of disappointment. On the surface, things might look different but underneath, it’s the same story replaying itself.
It takes an interruption where we pause and reflect. It takes a willingness to check in with yourself.
Ask yourself:
- What’s the story I’m living inside of?
- How is it shaping the results I keep getting?
- Who would I be if I chose a new way of being?
Because once you see how you’ve been operating, you get to choose whether you want to keep being that way… or create something new.
Teaching It Forward
One of the most beautiful parts of doing this work is watching how it ripples outward.
Just the other night at dinner, my nine-year-old shared that she was upset because her friend didn’t want to play with her at recess. As we talked, she realized the upset wasn’t about her friend’s choice, it was about the story she told herself: I must have done something wrong.
We unpacked that together. She saw that her friend simply wanted to try something new, and that didn’t mean anything about her. By the end of the conversation, she was ready to talk with her friend honestly the next day.
She’s learning at nine what I didn’t learn until much later: your inner story shapes your outer experience.
And the earlier we learn to pause, reflect, and choose differently, the more free become.
The Real Work of Growth
Inner work isn’t always comfortable. It asks you to get honest, face old wounds, and let go of the safety of blame. But it’s also where real transformation begins.
When you tend to yourself, your stories, your triggers, your perspective, you create new possibilities everywhere else: in your family, in your work, in your business.
Because the truth is this: inner work equals outer work. Heal inside, and your outside world will reflect it.
Your Turn
Take a moment to reflect:
- How might your current outer circumstances be reflecting an inner belief you’re carrying?
- What are you tolerating right now that you know deep down isn’t working for you?
- What’s one small habit you could take on today from the standpoint of: I matter?
If you’re ready to interrupt old patterns and create a new way of being, one that ripples into every part of your life, let’s talk. Book a free 30-minute discovery call with me, and let’s start uncovering the stories shaping your world so you can choose the future you actually want.
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